HUTCHINSON -- I guess I need to provide a space for readers who wish to comment on Tiger Woods’ unemotional, poorly choreographed, insincere reading of a prepared statement in which he apologized for multiple acts of recreational adultery to sponsors, foundation trustees and media members, but not to his own wife.

One thing became clear out of it -- he is out of his league with Elin. She was smart enough not to show up. He was too dumb not to. Elin has served as the single monument to decorum and grace throughout … well, at least since she dropped the golf club with which she terrorized Tiger’s SUV back when and then moved to a private island she owns. The chick’s got her own island … damn. That, for all you single men out there, is known as a “good catch.”

Or, you may wish to forward your thoughts on the follow-up news conference with the reptilian Gloria Allred and her porno movie whore-client, who not only insisted she has “feelings” but has announced she aborted a pregnancy in which Tiger was the contributing male. If that’s true … man, alive … talk about tearing up a winning lottery ticket … .

My own view is the Allred-Whore follow-up was simply a warning shot fired over Tiger’s bow: “Don’t play with me. Write the check. Or I’ll do this once a month.”

Anyway, comments are open at the end of this column.

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A final couple of thoughts on the attorney-client shoving match that The Hutch News didn’t think was a story until it was published first in The Effort: I don’t understand how any attorney can inaccurately contend a jury verdict came back at 5:30 or 6 p.m.,when it, in fact, came back at 1:15 p.m. Particularly, a jury verdict that went in the defense attorney’s favor -- that would, ostensibly, make it “memorable.”

It doesn’t happen all that often around here … except for the customary, twice a month beating the DA’s office seemingly takes from the under-funded, under-staffed, over-used Regional Public Defender‘s Office, Sarah McKinnon presiding.

And why would anyone, whether they work inside or outside of the local legal arena, whether young or old, drunk or sober, turn a lunch-hour meal with coworkers into a table-top-finger-painting opportunity with the condiments included on a typical but righteous hamburger from Carl’s Bar in beautiful downtown Hutchinson?

If that’s what happened -- the attorney says it didn’t -- the attorney has issues best examined by a shrink … or an exorcist.

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I’m a little late responding to this, but I’m nothing if not slow and unable to focus.

In a Feb. 5 editorial Hutch News Managing Editor Mary Rintoul was whining about a lack of a shield law that would protect reporters from giving up their sources or surrendering their notes to the government.

It stemmed from a Dodge City case is which a prosecutor wanted the name of a local reporter’s source and all the reporter’s notes. And a judge sided with the state and ruled the reporter had to either hand over the information or grab a space on a bunk in jail.

There was nothing unique or even motivating in the editorial and apparently recognizing that, she attempted to butch it up at the end by bellowing, “The time of discussion is over; the need for action is at hand.”

All that was missing was !!!!

But in the midst of calling for the “free flow of information” she got all indignant and sniffed, “Unfortunately, it is more difficult these days to distinguish legitimate journalists who deserve First Amendment and shield law protection from those who don’t -- wannabes portraying themselves as reporters via blogs, web sites and other information outlets.

“The two sides are beginning to blend in the public’s eye, and the residual effect is less understanding -- and tolerance -- for the true card-carrying journalists wanting to disseminate information to the public.”

I literally laughed out loud. Was the managing editor of The Hutchinson News really telling her readers where they should and shouldn’t get their news and information? She specifically spit at “wanabee” bloggers and websites and then added “ … and other information outlets.”

I presume that means the radio and TV folks. Apparently they’re “wannabes” also and not worthy to walk in the same halls as the esteemed “true, card-carrying journalists” on her staff such as attorney Tom Arnhold, retired phone company flack Richard Shank or Chamber cheerleader Jessica Miller.

Her message is clear: she wants to define for the public where it should and should not get its news and information … and that the public’s tolerance for her reporters would be heightened if the public would simply sign on to her own intolerance of … well … any other writer or organization that has the audacity to try and report *HER* news.

What a crock … it doesn’t even make sense.

I have no idea why Rintoul found it necessary to piss in every other news outlet’s Post Toasties while trying to promote something they, too, likely support -- protection from government interference in the news-gathering process.

But if I had to guess I’d guess that blogs and websites attract readers because crumbling little newspapers like Rintoul’s have been in a perpetual panic stage for years. And they’ve tried everything they can to fix things except the manner in which they report the news.

Management at many papers across the land don’t get it: they continue to raise the puritan flag of “objectivity” knowing it comes at the expense of “facts” and sometimes even “the truth.” And that’s precisely what readers consider “bias” and the readers have tired of the pretense. Of course, they look elsewhere..

I’m not saying it’s all management’s fault. Most have lawyers telling it what to print and not print, what to edit and not edit, what to say and not say. And that leads to ridiculous policies like not editing reader’s libelous comments … let them say whatever they want … as long as there’s a policy statement on the page that management believes shifts their responsibility to the truth and the facts from the newspaper to the citizen who penned the comment.

It’s about blame, not accuracy; about fear, not courage.

I don’t believe Rintoul was directing her comments at this site, because, frankly, The Effort doesn’t hurt The News very much, if at all. Its editor and publisher (that would be me) is too lazy to even try.

But if she thinks she and her merry band of mythical “card-carrying journalists” -- there isn’t a union shop in this town, maybe not even in the state -- are somehow more entitled than bloggers and websites and TV and radio to people who want information, she really doesn’t understand: it’s not her call, and she doesn’t own the news.

Those who seek information are entitled to get it from wherever they choose, and they have more choices now than ever before.

If the managing editor of the local daily can’t come to terms with that, if she can’t hang without whining and crying, then maybe he should just throw her Gerber’s on the floor and stomp out to begin the rest of her life.

The World Wide Web and its collection of bloggers, websites, and citizen-journalists are here to stay -- “card-carrying” or not. And the people are better informed because of it.